We are all taught that subjective experience is unreliable and that we are better served to be "rational" beings. If you accept this thought, you are saying yes to elevate secondary experience above primary experience. This is foolish to say the least. Remember this, without your senses, there would be no experience, no thought, emotions and of course no words. You are a subjective being before you are a rational being. You are well served to realize that and never let words become your reality. This is one of the primary sources of mental and emotional confusion in the world today.
The following is a list of words used in this body of information that are useful to review and re-calibrate toward your own sensory experiences.
Love: A verb often used as a noun, thereby creating a static thing out of a dynamic process. You never "give" your "love" to anyone. This is not possible because love is not a thing. I have found a definition of loving behavior given by Dr. Scott Peck Jr - author of the book "A Road Seldom Traveled" - "Loving behavior is the willingness and ability to stretch self out to self and or others to promote long-term spiritual growth." - so we need to know what is spirit and what is growth mean.
Spirit/Spiritual: Something that is not physical and therefore not quantifiable through the rational, objective means. The root-word meaning of spirit is "idea". An idea, thoughts, emotions, dreams, intuitions are not physical and therefore qualify as being spiritual. Sensory awareness is spiritual, knowledge and wisdom is spiritual. Spirit is energy and therefor eternal in its essence. It can only be transformed.
Growth: Growth can be consuming and non-consuming. Physical growth is considered limited since it is a consuming process. Mental, emotional or spiritual growth is the accumulation of experiences, intelligence, wisdom and ability. This kind of growth is limitless.
Reality and the Perception of reality: Reality can never be fully experienced fully. It would be completely overwhelming. We have three filter systems that we must use to create our perceptions of reality. These same process apply equally to the use of language - which could not exist without them. These processes are:
Strict analytical thinking tells us that we never experience reality, only our perception of it. This is regulated by three filter processes that branch out to different levels of our internal mental and emotional maps. These contain knowledge, belief system, convictions, beliefs, assumptions, direct sensory experience, perceptions of mission, identity, values, strategies, behavior and the environment. Nobody has the same map or perception of reality. Trying to compete over having the correct perception is an exercise in futility.
Simply stated, if you have seven different people looking at the same colored painting having each a different color filter - they will each be deleting a certain wavelength of light and perceive the painting uniquely. For each wavelength - the painting will appear uniquely different. How many wavelengths are there? Our shared reality is the concept of "a painting" - at least up to a point. The words we use concern ourselves with how we try and express and share that unique perception together. As we can easily understand from this analogy, we can never really understand each other directly. This is especially true with language. "I love you" can mean millions of different subjective things we might hold in our minds. We are always well served to give higher priority to the sensory experience than accept the the word itself as reality.
In general, humanity has allowed itself to become entrapped by the illusion of words being reality. Reality has been transformed into words and then we only talk about the words. This is especially true in the world of human judicial systems and "laws" that are commercial, civil, trust, criminal, contracts etc. This is the world of "legal fiction".
The advantages of knowing we are have unique perceptions
If two people had precisely the same perceptions of reality and the same maps of reality - there would never be anything the one could learn from the other. It is quite apparent that the universe believes in uniqueness within the confines of certain boundaries as a general rule. We all have unique fingerprints. Every snowflake is unique. Every star is unique and every Galaxy is unique. Consider that is the diversity of uniqueness within the confines of the human experience that makes it so immensely potentially valuable.
It is valuable if you think of it as a learning experience. All your interactions with other unique individuals have the potential for a mutual exchange of energy. If there is a shared desire to stretch toward vitality and greater self-responsibility, that exchange will some that is positive for all involved. If there is a shared filter for competition and a desire to dominate that energy exchange will be negative for all involved. It is negative for the dominator because it misses out on all the possible synergy that could have evolved from dropping the competition.
Within the framework of the "spirit of competition" there is a general tendency to filter experiences for sameness in people. We seek normalcy, uniformity and categories to sort by value. As such we will understand "difference" as not "normal" (the same as me) and therefor suspicious. In the context of the spirit of vitality, differences and uniqueness are always assumed and a filter for discovering synergistic exchanges will prevail. Each framework, or paradigm will give a very different experience. The one is a learning experience that is painful. The other is a learning experience that is pleasurable.
Perspectives and Logical Levels of Understading: All information can be categorized into some logical level of detail. Each level above is a generalization of the level below. When we move down to lower levels, we become more specific, when we move up, we generalize. The more we generalize the greater the number of specifics become affected at lower levels. This is a powerful concept when resolving conflicts. If a conflict is resolved around a specific issue - nothing much else happens than an increase in the flow of positive energy. If the conflict becomes resolved by dealing with issues that are more general - the more positive change in behavior you will achieve. This is quite apparant when dealing with the chronic conflicts within our personal and social lives at all levels. By raising the levels of consideration to the highest possible level - we can transforme all the lower issues at once. We get rid of competition and the problems disappear. This shows the value of systems thinking and of philosophic thinking because both of these move freely up and down the scales of detal and generalization about life and the challenges we experience.
Perspectives are important to us in life. If we feel lost, we are well-served to find a higher ground from which to view the route that leads you successfully to your goal. Multiple perspectives are also valuable because it allows us to become un-one-sided. This is particularly valuable when dealing with other people and other living beings. Your most valuable perceptual position or perspective in this instance, is your own. This is your referance. Your next valuable position is that of the others involved. This gives you the perception of empathy. Your next valuable position is that of the unattached observer giving advice about the situation to YOU. By looping through such a sequence you achieve empathy with wisdom and can act in your own best interests after returining to your primary perceptual position.
Empathy without and with wisdom
Empathy is the willingness and the ability to perceive the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual position of another living being, be that a human, animal, plant or insect. The perceptual position of empathy removes yourself from the interests you have and you enter the interests of another. Their pain, or pleasure will be yours - subjectivly speaking. This position has a great potential for two different kinds of results. If you stay in this position too long, you will lose your own perspective and not act in your best interests always. If you stay in that position, you assume responsibility for the feelings you have in that position and act accordingly. But you must remember - those feelings are not your responsibility to change. You are well served to move into the observer position and ask the question, "Who is responsible here"? If you are going to extend yourself, ask if you are promoting dependency or independency in the long run. Of course you give a starving man food and drink. After that you teach the man to fish and farm for himself. Setting boarders between self and others with respect to responsibility and ability you will be able to navigate in a better way for yourself, and in the long-run a better way for others.